Healing and growth is a process. When your healing stems from long term, drawn out, and deep rooted trauma there is a lot of self reflection and work involved in the process. Wounds need to be discovered and brought into conscious awareness so the work to reframe your thought patterns in triggering situations can begin. Healing and growth from one subconscious wound often opens doors to realizations of connected wounds and that Healing and growth process begins all over again.
I tell my clients all of the time, our brain is a muscle and our thought patterns we are consistently in become muscle memory. We have to retrain our minds and thought patterns the same way we train our muscles and movements at the gym. The more consistent the thoughts and patterns are, positive or negative, the more automatic that thought process will be.
Allow yourself the space, self love and understanding that you can't rush the process and it has to be done in a way that allows the the Healing to happen rather than repression of those wounds and traumas all over again. Otherwise the triggers still exist and the automatic thoughts don't change.
Surround yourself with people who support this and also allow you the grace and understanding through the process. Everyone's process looks different and takes time. Don't beat yourself up or allow others the space to look down on you for the amount of time it is taking or for the discovery of new ways you want to heal and grow. You can't rush your healing